A lot of years left...

My Great Grandmother lived to 93. My grandfather lived to 88. I have a lot of years left in me. I'm young in my own eyes. I mean, I could go in a car crash tomorrow, I know. I can't choose the timing. But I can choose the way I live up to the moment God calls me home.

I have five kids. Five beautiful, amazing, ENERGETIC kids. One of these babes, my Garden Shadow, is two. A lovely, plump, playful, ever-moving, two year old kid. I am 44. Now, a lot of people I know - I won't name names - think of 44 much differently than I. They think they are old, winding down, and some have admitted feeling useless. I feel the opposite. I feel like I am just getting a grasp on things.

I plan to be chasing my kids, my grandkids, my great grandkids, the wind, up to the end. God hasn't called me home yet and I intend to honor that. Honor that with my body, my mind, my diet and what I pour into others.

You see, there was a time when I was convinced I was dying. I was living a life of a health challenge. That was my focus. Not Christ, not my family - my health, and my health only.

"When you don't have your health, you have one dream. When you have your health, you have millions of dreams." ~Anonymous

True, so true. And I was guilty of that. I only wanted my health. And to be honest, I begged daily for Christ to return to end my pain. Pretty selfish, considering I have many loved ones who do not even think about Jesus. After a year and a half, finally diagnosed, I began recovery. And I began to re-prioritize my life.

That was 8 years ago. I am a slow learner. But God is full of grace and patience.

Cut to today (my husband is a filmmaker).  We moved to a farm. I cook from scratch. We eat gluten free & vegan. I exercise. We lay low when needed. And I homeschool. No cottage schools, no over volunteering, no crazy schedules and no GMO's. We garden organically, clean without chemicals, and do our best to stay away from pharmaceuticals.

We are not perfect. I mess up in ALL of these areas more than I care to admit. That is where God's grace carries me. Me and my family. Because that's what is most important to me - His grace. His love. And the fact that when I mess up - sometimes even willfully - He loves me.  And most importantly, I want my children to witness me living in His grace. His beautiful, mind-boggling, unchanging grace.

God gave me more time. And in that time, I plan to fill each moment with a diet that will carry this body further than the Standard American Diet would. To avoid as many chemicals as I can. To get out and explore his creation as a way to keep my body, heart and lungs strong. Because each day He gives me is another day to love. Love my husband. My kids. My parents. Friends.  Neighbors. Strangers. Everyone.

Because, my dear friends, that is what He has called me to do.

I am 44.

I have a lot of years left in me.

To love.

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